The Inspector’s Manual

01 · The math

Every house sends a bill for the things nobody looked at.

These are them — what an ordinary house costs its owner in a year across the twelve parts of this book, because nobody looked until something failed. Most folks call it the cost of owning a home. Most of it isn’t.

The green ink is the same house, after the manual. And every green number has its chapters: what to look at, what it costs to fix now, and what it costs to wait.

$39. Once. The bill comes back every year.

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$39 once · emailed instantly · PDF + EPUB

averages from my own inspection files, 2009–2024 · your house will differ

after the manual ↓

AN ORDINARY HOUSE — ONE YEAR, AS USUALLY RUN —

Roof & gutters$620$40

Foundation & drainage$540$35

Plumbing & the slow drip$480$22

The water heater$310$0

Electrical service calls$260$15

Heating & cooling$740$60

Windows, doors & caulk$290$18

Attic, insulation & venting$410$0

Kitchen & bath water damage$380$25

Exterior, siding & paint$460$30

Decks, garage & grounds$390$28

Appliances & the small stuff$560$47

THE YEAR$5,440$320

≈ $5,120 a year, back in your pocket

02 · What’s inside

The whole house, twelve parts, 81 chapters.

Every chapter tells you what it costs now and what it costs later, and every one ends with the same heading — when to stop and call someone.

01 Roof & Gutters 7 chapters

The $12 of Gutter Guard That Isn't Worth $12
Why Your Gutters Overflow at the Corners, and the Ten-Minute Fix
Reading a Shingle From the Ground: Four Things That Mean "Call Someone"
The Flashing That Fails First (It Isn't Where You Think)
Moss, and the $900 Mistake of Pressure-Washing It
Downspouts: Six Feet Is the Whole Game
When a Roof Is Eighteen Years Old: What to Budget, and When

02 Foundation & Drainage 6 chapters

The Crack That's Fine, and the Crack That Isn't
Grading: The Dirt Against Your House Is the Most Important Dirt You Own
The $65 Downspout Extension That Prevents the $14,000 Job
Sump Pumps: Test It in March, Not July
Efflorescence, and What That White Powder Is Telling You
Window Wells, and Why They Fill Up

03 Plumbing 8 chapters

The 60-Cent Washer That Stops a $380 Drip
Where Your Main Shutoff Is, and Why You Should Turn It Twice a Year
The Supply Line Under the Sink With a Ten-Year Lifespan (and How Old Yours Is)
Toilets: The Flapper, the Fill Valve, and the $40 a Month You're Not Noticing
Polybutylene, Galvanized, and the Two Other Pipes to Know by Name
Slow Drains: What's Safe to Pour, and What's Eating Your Pipes
Hose Bibs, and the One October Job That Prevents a Burst
Water Pressure: The $9 Gauge and the Number That Ruins Appliances

04 The Water Heater 6 chapters

The Twenty-Minute Flush That Adds Five Years
The Anode Rod Nobody Has Ever Replaced (and What It Costs To)
Reading the Label: How Old Is It, Really
The TPR Valve: The Small Lever That Matters Most
The Drip Pan and the $5 Alarm
Tank vs. Tankless: The Honest Math for Your House

05 Electrical 7 chapters

GFCI Outlets: Press the Button Once a Month, and Here's Why
The Warm Outlet Cover, and What It Means
Federal Pacific, Zinsco, and the Panels I'd Want Replaced Tomorrow
Aluminum Wiring: How to Know If You Have It
Extension Cords, Power Strips, and the Space Heater Rule
Flickering Lights: The Harmless Kind and the Other Kind
What I Will Not Tell You How to Do (and Who to Call Instead)

06 Heating & Cooling 8 chapters

The $60 of Filters That Protects the $6,000 Machine
Why Your AC Is Short-Cycling, and What It's Costing You a Month
The Condensate Line Clog: A Cup of Vinegar in May
The Outdoor Unit: Two Feet of Clearance and a Fin Comb
Furnace Flame Color, and the One That Means Shut It Off
Ducts: The 20% You're Paying to Heat the Attic
Thermostats: The Setting That Isn't Saving You Money
Repair or Replace: The 5,000 Rule

07 Windows & Doors 6 chapters

The Caulk Line That Fails at Year Four, and the $12 Tube That Fixes It
Fogged Double-Panes: What's Fixable, and What Isn't
Weatherstripping: The Dollar-Bill Test
Sliding Doors: The Track, the Roller, and the $30 That Makes It Glide
Exterior Doors: The Sweep, the Threshold, and Where the Rot Starts
Weep Holes, and the Drainage You Didn't Know Windows Had

08 Attic, Insulation & Venting 6 chapters

Ice Dams: The $2,400 Roof Repair That Starts in Your Attic
Soffit Vents: Are Yours Actually Open?
The Bathroom Fan Venting Into the Attic (More Common Than You'd Think)
How Much Insulation You Have: The Ruler Test
Attic Stains: Reading the Roof From Underneath
Bath Fan Run Time: The Twenty-Minute Rule

09 Kitchen & Bath 7 chapters

The Grout Line That's Really a $1,800 Subfloor Problem
Caulk vs. Grout: Where Each Belongs, and Why People Get It Backwards
The Dishwasher Supply Line and Its Ten-Year Clock
Under-Sink Checks: The Thirty-Second Monthly Habit
Exhaust Fans, Mildew, and the Paint That Keeps Peeling
Tile That Sounds Hollow, and What to Do Before It Lifts
Shower Valves, and the Drip Behind the Wall

10 Exterior, Siding & Paint 7 chapters

The Six-Inch Rule: Siding, Soil, and Where Termites Start
Peeling Paint: The Moisture Problem It's Pointing To
Brick Weep Holes, and Why You Shouldn't Fill Them
Stucco Cracks: Hairline vs. the Ones I Write Up
Trim Rot: Probe It With a Screwdriver, and Here's What You're Feeling For
The $30 of Caulk That Keeps Water Out of a Wall
Vinyl Siding: What's Cosmetic, and What's Letting Water In

11 Decks, Garage & Grounds 7 chapters

The Ledger Board: The Bolt That Holds the Whole Deck Up
Deck Stain: Every Two to Three Years, or the $4,000 Rebuild
Garage Door Springs: What You Check, and What You Never Touch
The Auto-Reverse Test, and Why It's a Two-by-Four
Trees: The Ten-Foot Rule for Roofs and the Twenty-Foot Rule for Foundations
Driveways: Sealing, Cracks, and the Water That Goes Under
Fences and Retaining Walls: The Lean That Means "This Year"

12 Appliances & the Small Stuff 6 chapters

Dryer Vent Lint: The $450 Service Call and the 2,900 House Fires a Year
Fridge Coils: The Fifteen Minutes That Cut $80 a Year
Smoke and CO Detectors: The Ten-Year Date Printed on the Back
Washer Hoses: $25 of Braided Steel vs. a Flooded Laundry Room
The Garbage Disposal, and the Three Things That Kill It
The Maintenance Calendar: The Whole Book on One Page

Tom Parker in his workshop — Tom Parker · retired home inspector

05 · Who’s Tom

Who's telling you this

I'm Tom Parker. I inspected houses for twenty-five years, about 3,900 of them by my files, and spent most of that time on my knees in crawlspaces and attics watching small problems turn into big invoices.

I'm not a contractor and I'm not selling you a service. I'm the man people in town call when they hear a drip and don't know if it matters. This book is everything I used to say in driveways, written down once so you don't have to call.

06 · Order the manual

Pay once. It's yours for good.

The complete manual — 81 chapters, 214 red flags, the one-page maintenance calendar and the walkthrough checklist — emailed to you the moment you buy. Pay once, and it's yours to keep — on your phone, your tablet, your computer — forever. No subscription. No upsells.

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07 · Questions

Questions people ask

Is this book for me?

If you own a house, or you're about to, yes. If you're after a book that makes you handy overnight, no — this one makes you the person who notices, and that's worth more than handy.

Do I need to be handy?

No. A flashlight, a screwdriver, a garden hose and a $9 pressure gauge cover most of it. The handful of jobs that need a real skill or a licence, I tell you so plainly and send you to the right person.

Isn't some of this dangerous?

Some house work is, and that work isn't in here. There are no chapters on gas lines, electrical panels, walking a roof, or anything structural — except to tell you what to look for from the ground and when to make the call. Chapter 34 is the list of jobs I won't teach, and why.

Does this replace a real inspection?

No. If you're buying a house, hire an inspector. The book will help you read the report and ask better questions, but it isn't a substitute for someone in the crawlspace with a moisture meter. What it replaces is the twenty years of not looking that come after you move in.

What do I get, and what format?

The complete manual — 81 chapters across 12 parts, plus the one-page maintenance calendar and the pre-purchase walkthrough checklist — sent to your email the moment you buy, in two files: a PDF and an EPUB. Read it on a phone, a tablet, or a computer, send the EPUB straight to a Kindle, or print it out at home.

Can I get it on paper?

The manual is digital — it lands in your email right after you buy, no waiting on the mail. If you like paper in your hands, print any chapter, or the whole thing, on your home printer. The calendar and the checklist are laid out on single pages for exactly that.

Is it a subscription?

No. You pay once. Future editions and new chapters come to you free.

My house is new. Or very old. Or a condo.

A new house has most of the same systems and a builder who left in a hurry, so it applies, though you'll save less in year one. An old house is where the book earns its keep. For a condo, roughly half applies: everything inside your walls, nothing on the roof or the grounds.

★★★★★

I had a pen out by chapter six. Moved two downspouts that weekend, and the crack in the basement wall I’d been watching for three years hasn’t grown since.

Dana R. · early reader

What got me is that he tells you when to stop. Half of what I’d watched online is apparently a good way to hurt yourself. It reads like a man who’s stood in three thousand basements, because he has.

Mike T. · early reader

No fluff, no lecture. Short chapters, real prices, and “when to call someone” at the end of every one. I flushed the water heater. It was full of rocks.

Priya S. · early reader

The most expensive thing in your house is the small job you've been meaning to look at.